Pas. Q. T. Nyathi sets in stone some tips for solid parenting.
#1 Thou shalt discipline thy offspring.
The question is not if you should discipline, but how you must administer it.
If you don’t discipline, you’ll reap deep disappointment, destroy your kids’ future, and destabilize the community by raising rascals. Don’t be afraid to discipline your children.
Loving correction is part of God’s nature – and it is also a sacred command given to every parent.
#2 Thou shalt be consistent in thy discipline.
Discipline should not be moody and unpredictable.
What is wrong in the presence of the Pereras and the Silvas must not be reasonable in their absence! Otherwise, you’ll confuse your child, in addition to embarrassing yourself in front of your guests, friends, or family members. Good discipline is firm, fixed, and fair at all times.
#3 Thou shalt not just focus on punishment.
Focus on rebuking, training, and correcting in all righteousness; not punishment.
Punishment is the act of enforcing penalties and sanctions for wrongdoing (after a wrong deed has been committed). Training, on the other hand, is equipping and educating and empowering your offspring towards good
behaviour (before any wrong deed, sin, or transgression is committed).
Be positive in your approach, not negative.
#4 Thou shalt not allow thy children to divide thee.
Kids are past-masters at pitting one parent against the other.
Don’t give your little one ice-cream if his or her other parent has denied them one! Otherwise, you’ll end up fighting each other – while the culprit enjoys an unmerited treat in peace.
Always verify with your partner-for-life before taking a decision and making it clear to your child.
#5 Thou shalt set a few clear rules in thy household.
Don’t make a thousand ambiguous, conflicting, or long-winded rules.
Numerous laws, bylaws, and subsections only produce confusion, frustration, and rebellion. In the Old Testament, God started off with Ten Commandments (and over six hundred ceremonial laws) – and then, in effect, He reduced them to only two in the New Testament.
Boil down your expectations to a few easy-to-understand core values.
#6 Thou shalt not discipline with uniformity.
Understand each child’s unique nature, character, personality, and temperament.
Although the rules are the same, your children are different – and, therefore, they need to be brought up to the standard in different ways.
Don’t deal with a stubborn, strong-willed child the same way you would deal with a tender, weak-willed one.
#7 Thou shalt discipline in love.
Never discipline when your anger has erupted like a mercurial volcano and everyone is in danger of being swamped by boiling lava!
Don’t vent your anger and frustration on your children. Otherwise, you’ll run the unacceptable risk of going overboard and hurting them.
Mete out discipline only when you are calm and in control.
#8 Thou shalt show the way.
Don’t be a signpost that points the way, but doesn’t pursue the way. In other words, you must not only talk the talk… you must also walk the walk!
Children are amazing imitators. It is astonishing (and quite frightening, too) to realize how much of ourselves we see in our children.
Parenting is as much about modelling good behaviour yourself, as it is about moulding your kids conduct.
#9 Thou shalt not provoke thy children to anger.
Children are people, too!
They face their own challenges and pressures. They have good days and bad days. They have teeth on both sides of the jaw (although they may not be that many!) Respect your children – don’t humiliate them.
Remember to say sorry and ask for their forgiveness – if, as, and when you’ve sinned against them.
#10 Thou shalt distinguish between childishness and childlikeness.
Children will always be children.
They’ll always tease, banter, raise a playful fracas, or forget important stuff once in a while. Allow your children to enjoy their childhood. Whack childishness, welcome childlikeness.
While the Bible instructs us to put away childishness, it urges us to be childlike in faith, simplicity, and humility.
“Children are people, too!
(But we may often be in a subtle sort of denial about this… Because we – like many other parents and guardians – could often be considering them as simply ‘adults or adolescents in waiting’; as being only ‘citizens of tomorrow’?)”
Pas. Q. T. Nyathi is an author, a copywriter, and a speaker. His wit, sincerity, and candid style have endeared him to many hearts; and his book Deliverance Unpacked has been warmly received globally. He conducts marriage and singles seminars with his wife, Bonani.
Courtesy: Faith Writers